should I stay or should I go?

Fuck.

What a weekend. It was good, but for some reason I'm feeling so down. I don't get it. I met Danny again, it was great. Had a fabulous - albeit very very very (very) drunk - night, met some old friends. How can I complain? (Well, the hang over from hell...)

So sick of it here. London is seriously tearing me apart. I need to get out very very soon. Just go somewhere and do something different. Anything really, even if it's just for a day.

The house situation is still bothering me, and two of us are slowly building up a tension that I don't like.

Danny confused me a bit as usual. Sad thing, I like him more when he's drunk and high than when he's sober. Last night was all "hello gorgeous", this morning was "hey buddy". It's ok, I mean, I know that nothing serious will ever happen between us, and that's fine. I don't want anything serious to happen between us, but being who he is and the history, it's all a bit... sigh.

And thus denying it every day, Mike is still haunting my thoughts and nightmares. Last night I got pissed off with Danny for a silly little thing, I can't even remember why, but I told him that I am done taking shit from people. In hindsight, my reaction scares me a bit; I shouldn't be that scarred from Mike that I go extreme on a friend because he/she is silly and drunk. I was thinking that maybe I pushed Mike into breaking up with me on some level?

I am very happy I didn't sleep with Danny. That was very wise of us. Who would have thought that? Not me, that's for sure.

Ah, freaking season changing depression - get lost!